she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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