I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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