Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Send help, water and tortillas.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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