i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
