omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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