When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Sorry my hands just texted you
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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