He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I think your dad took our porno
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
