Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
You are the jesus of drinking
Randomize
