I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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