In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
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No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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