I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Randomize
