Dual....:-)
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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