I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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