I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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