Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
