Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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