this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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