She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
