Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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