I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
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so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
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Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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