puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
