very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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