420 ftw
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
