My nipple is on Facebook.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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