If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
This is my gift to your gina
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
