If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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