I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
this boner is exhausting
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
