I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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