Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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