I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize