How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Randomize
