just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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