I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
