I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize