i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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