Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
so let's talk penis.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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