If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
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