Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
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