are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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