How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
