i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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