What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize