I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
