Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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