I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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