yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
