His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.