She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.