nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
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He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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