I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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