Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
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just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
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Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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