Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
