I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Randomize
