we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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