i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
