I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
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we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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