apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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