FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
we're so committed to being not committed
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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