its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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