Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
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